Beneath The Skin: A Character sketch — Derek Barton – 2024

Today, I wanted to post a little behind-the-scenes work I am doing. It will give you some insight into the research work I do to develop my characters and my storylines.

I usually start with a vague idea or an impression in my mind then I build upon that spark by asking myself questions and finding information online.

For this story (which will be in the sequel anthology for Weatherly Lane), it will revolve around the true-life serial killer known as The Axeman of New Orleans.

Very little is known of the infamous murderer. He was rarely seen and few who survived his attacks to give any credible accounting to the investigators. His reign of terror focused on the city of New Orleans from May, 1918 to October, 1919. Overall, the Axeman is accredited with twelve victims of which six people died.

Like the modern-day serial killer, The Zodiac Killer, the Axeman grew notorious as he sent a taunting letter to the investigators and mocked their efforts at capturing him. He made an odd request: if everyone in the city on March 19th would play jazz music, he would spare them another murder. It was reported on that night, many bars and nightclubs only played jazz. There were no more murders until August of 1919. To this day, on March 19th, some establishments still play only jazz. His last murder was in October of 1919. And like the Zodiac, he disappeared into obscurity, no more attacks occurred, and he was never captured.

Here is a sample of the letter he wrote to the police:

Hell, March 13, 1919

Esteemed Mortal:

They have never caught me, and they never will. They have never seen me, for I am invisible, even as the ether surrounding your earth. I am not a human being but a spirit and a demon from the hottest hell. I am what you Orleanians and your foolish police call the Axeman.

When I see fit, I shall come and claim other victims. I alone know whom they shall be. I shall leave no clue except my bloody axe, besmeared with blood and brains of he whom I have sent below to keep me company.

If you wish, you may tell the police to be careful not to rile me. Of course, I am a reasonable spirit. I take no offense at the way they have conducted their investigations in the past. In fact, they have been so utterly stupid as to not only amuse me but His Satanic Majesty, Francis Josef, etc. But tell them to beware. Let them not try to discover what I am, for it was better that they were never born than to incur the wrath of the Axeman...

Often I like to delve into the backstory of my main character to better get to know him or her. If I know the character well, then I can write their dialogue or their decisions with better clarity and authenticity. Sometimes I include some of the backstory in my main story, sometimes I leave it out maybe for future work.

My story is of course fictional. The information I provide here is completely conjecture and invented for story purposes. In other words, I have not done any real investigation work or propose that I know who he really was.

Here are some interview questions I pulled from Chatgpt:

1. What is the character’s name? Where was the character born?

Victor Daniel Perrone (his mother’s surname) was born in New Orleans, LA.

2. What is the character’s family background?

He’s half-black, half-Italian. He and his mother, Luanne, and half-sister, Sherry, lived in the squalor of the French Quarter. His father, Francis “Frank” Basso, owned a small grocery and was the landlord of the apartment building which they lived in. His mother worked for a dry cleaner shop.

3. What is the character’s earliest memory?

His earliest memory was of his father beating his mother and his sister over a broken glass picture frame. His father was a violent alcoholic.

4. What was the character’s childhood like?

Terrible and abusive. The nightmare abuse stopped finally after Francis drowned his sister in the bathtub while in a drunken rage. He escaped into the night and was never punished.

5. Did the character have any siblings? If so, what was their relationship like?

They were very close due to the severity of their situation. They were poor and their mother was too weak to stand up to the man. Due to his age, he was spared most of the beatings, but he witnessed the attacks.

6. What significant events shaped the character’s early years?

He grew up bitter and angry toward Italians like his father. When he was only fourteen, he left his mother to pursue his father. He managed to get a position on a Mississippi river ferry. There he learned about jazz and became a decent musician.

7. What was the character’s education like?

He was intelligent, talented as a trumpet player, but limited since he didn’t finish school. While he did obtain a modest career as a jazz player, he never got fame due to his quick temper and bitterness. He was still driven to get justice against his father and kept up his search in his free time.

8. What were the character’s hobbies and interests as a child?

He enjoyed music and had an interest in dark poetry. While he didn’t finish school, he did self-teach himself literature and read a lot of the classics. He was fairly well-spoken and could be eloquent. This sometimes made him seem condescending and pompous.

9. Did the character have any close friends growing up?

No. He didn’t make friends. He grew up poor, dirty, and standoffish. Plus, it was easier to hide bruises and injuries if you didn’t get close to people.

10. Did the character experience any traumatic events in childhood?

The day he learned he was a child of rape really impacted him. His sister’s father had just died at sea working on a fishing vessel. His father who was their landlord immediately attacked and raped his mother when he learned of the father’s death. Authorities didn’t put much effort in the case against him as Francis was a “creditable” white business man and she was a poor black woman.

11. What was the character’s relationship with their parents like?

Of course, he loved his mother but grew disgusted with her lack of strength to stand up for herself or the children. He hated his father. After Francis killed his sister and escaped justice, he began having fantasies about killing him. It led to his homicidal desires.

12. What are the character’s cultural and religious beliefs?

He has a shallow belief in God and Hell. He feels he is an avenging spirit for God, but doesn’t have any real morality. As an instrument of God, Victor targets Italian males especially ones he feels are irredeemable sinners.

13. How did the character’s upbringing influence their values and beliefs?

He hides behind his musician persona and religion in order to enact his murders. He still keeps aloof and doesn’t have any romantic relationships or lasting friendships.

14. What were the character’s dreams and aspirations as a child?

He had dreams of taking his mother and sister away. Living in the country on a simple farm. Anywhere really to keep his family safe from Francis.

15. Did the character face any challenges or obstacles in their youth?

He ran away at the age of fourteen after his sister’s death. First, he wanted to find his father, but then ended up on the street. Life turned around for him when he gained a post on the ferry. But his nagging need to find his father kept him tied to his tragic past. This broke his soul and eventually his mental status.

16. Has the character experienced loss or grief in their life?

Only his sister’s murder affected him. When his mother died alone ten years after he left, he didn’t even bother to attend her funeral. 

17. What are the character’s strengths and weaknesses based on their past experiences?

He’s very critical of himself and others. Doesn’t always say his true thoughts, but he doesn’t hide his negativity well either.

18. How did the character’s past shape their personality?

His anger, his pursuit, and his homicidal rage him led down many dark paths. In the story, Victor will be an easy target for the evil of Hasthra. When the two meet in early 1918, Hasthra will easily manipulate and mold him into a killer. 

19. What is the character’s relationship with authority figures like?

He is quick to mock or think ill of the police as they never caught his father or brought him justice. This also makes him more brazen and even reckless when he begins his own slaughters. His confidence in their ineptitude proves accurate.

20. Has the character experienced any discrimination or prejudice?

He has faced some due to his mixed heritage, but he has more Italian features than black. He is quite handsome and his career as a jazz musician has kept that limited to a degree.

21. What is the character’s relationship with money and material possessions?

He has modest needs. Most of his money has gone toward his goal of finding and killing his father. He will return from Kingston and live upon the river ferry and doesn’t have need for much else. The constant relocation of the Mariah Lee, the river ferry, gives him a perfect way to keep eluding the police.

22. Has the character experienced any form of addiction or mental health issues?

Other than his obsession with punishing Italian men, he has no other addictions. He will become mainly one of many weapons wielded by Hasthra from its lair in Kingston.

23. What are the character’s fears and insecurities based on their past?

He isn’t too worried about the police and being caught. He has honed his craft well and knows how to remain a step ahead. His arrogance will trip him up eventually. He is haunted by nightmares from his childhood. They spark his rage or send him into a delusional panic as his mental state breaks down further and further.

24. Has the character ever been in trouble with the law?

Caught a couple of times as a teen stealing but nothing around his darker deeds. He was never on their radar or been a person-of-interest in any case.

25. What is the character’s relationship with their hometown or place of origin?

He haunts New Orleans because he vows that his father is still out there somewhere. He will keep killing him over and over.

As you can see, these questions and others help me delve into the mind of the character, even the mind of one so sick and broken. It also helps me tie historical facts with my fictional content. I already have a strong sense of the evil entity, Hasthra, and now when the two intersect I will be able to have an in depth dialogue with the two. This meeting will alter many lives and set in motion a domino effect of death and mayhem.

Which is just what Hasthra feeds upon and gathers into its power…

I hope that this has been interesting for you and gives you a sneak peek into the upcoming sequel to my short story in the horror anthology, Weatherly Lane 2! (The inside word is that the sequel will be released sometime in the first half of 2025!)

AI Interview #1 — Derek Barton – 2023

I used AI this week to “interview” myself. I submitted: what are the best 30 questions you can ask a writer? These are the best of the 30 it provided. I will do another one of these “interviews” soon but more ‘biographical’ in nature. Enjoy!

What is your writing process like?

After I have thought out the main plot points of my story, I like to focus on my characters. Backstory and or history for the main characters really helps bring them to life and make them multidimensional on the page. Then I work up a “beats outline” of the novel.

Do you prefer to outline your work or let it evolve organically?

Rarely do I write without an outline. I find that my mind and my story will wander if not on a targeted directory. Especially with my fantasy tales, I have several plots and subplots happening at once and it’s way too hard to keep track of if it’s not written in an organized fashion.

How do you develop your characters?

I tend to be inspired by music or ideas that I can develop characters around. For instance, one of my main characters, Taihven Artadeus, was crafted around a premise of how do you effectively live and lead if you can’t tell whether you are in the real world or a figment of your imagination.

What role does research play in your writing?

I praise every day how wonderful the internet is and how this is the greatest age to live in as a writer. For my novel, In Four Days, I used Philadelphia as the foundation city of the story. I have never been to or lived around that city. However, through my research on the net, I could plop in various key locations or national parks, etc to make it very believable. I have had readers actually ask me how long did I live in PA! Another example was the whole US Marshals and their prison transport set up that I used in my Evade series. I had to really dig to learn procedures and some of the jargon they used. Without research I couldn’t have portrayed the exciting prison escape/hostage scene realistically. I highly recommend that every writer do  thorough and proper research — you don’t have any legitimate excuses now to not do it. It totally adds to your story and brings it home for your readers.

How do you handle criticism and feedback on your work?

So far, I have been extremely fortunate in my reviews, but there will be the day I am sure someone will tell me how much they did not like my work. It is unfortunate, but it is bound to come. One thing to remember is that there are millions of people with millions of various interests and tastes. No one can satisfy every person. You chalk it up to, you did your work the best you could and you know that for every hater there are tons of people who love it too. If it’s constructive criticism, maybe you learn from it. If it’s just hateful, then you pass it off as trolling and let it go.

What do you find most challenging about the writing process?

To me, finding the mental energy and fire to write is one of the biggest obstacles to being productive. I have a full house: a wife, 3 children (2 young adults now), a son-in law, a baby grandson and several animals. All need time, attention and financial support. So, a full time day job and 2 running vehicles is a must. Having time to myself is a luxury and having that coincide with having the mental stamina to produce anything…sometimes it seems rare like a lunar eclipse! Most times though I find if I set up a small goal of writing 300 words (which is pretty easy to accomplish), it will spill over into writing near a 1000 or more. It is what they call “resistance”. You have to will yourself to push through and you’ll find that unexpected reserve of energy and motivation to write.

How do you balance creativity and the need to meet deadlines?

As I said, it isn’t easy for me to find time. I usually set goals for general deadlines. In other words, I won’t set an actual date but more like a timeframe of when I want to be done. If I apply too much pressure to complete something, I will squish all the enjoyment out of the process and I will find plenty of reasons to procrastinate and never get to the work. I have to allow some freedom in order to be sure I will find the drive there enjoyable.

What advice would you give to aspiring writers?

When you first start out, don’t focus so much on the idea ‘will the readers like this or will they hate me?’. Write for you. Write something you want to read, something you’d like to explore or fantasize about. Free yourself from your inner critic (that bastard will never leave you and is like the school yard bully, always ready to steal your lunch money and bloody your nose). You can be free with your ideas and your story structure or prose since no one is ever going to read your first draft. Nor should you let anyone read it. Then when you are “done”, go back and allow the editing process to do its magic. Clean up everything to be readable content. But don’t let that white empty page scare you. It’s a playground waiting for you to run around in. Go enjoy yourself!

How do you create believable dialogue in your stories?

I am very detail-oriented in my story creation. As I said, I am outline obsessed. But when it comes to dialogue, I lose myself in the moment and try to become my characters in the scene. Answer and reply how they would, not how Derek would. If you are going to have credible, realistic dialogue you cannot censor or guide it based on you.

What is your favorite genre to write in, and why?

I of course have two favorite genres: horror and fantasy. I really love to write in both. Horror is much easier to write but I love the convoluted stories that bloom in fantasy tales. I have thought about or entertained writing in other genres like Steampunk, Sci-fi or History but so far nothing has been a powerful enough draw to take me away from the big two. As it stands, I have way too many stories waiting in line for me to write. Maybe one day down the road, who knows?

How do you handle self-doubt as a writer?

I am okay with doubt until it comes down to the last of a series. For instance, for my Elude series the last novel scared me witless! I analyzed and fretted over every word and detail. I really wanted to end the whole story with an impact. I put so much pressure that I nearly stalled out and didn’t finish it. I am sure that is also why it has taken me several attempts at writing the last of my Wyvernshield series. The Bleeding Crown was written in 2017 and hear six years later I am just getting out the next part of that story. I hate disappointing readers and I work hard at finding what I feel will be worth their effort in reading it. Analysis-paralysis I think it’s called. To get myself to finally push myself to write it was to just say I will do my best and write what I would want to read. Hope for the best and hope the readers enjoy the ride along with me.

What impact do you hope your writing will have on readers?

More than anything, I want the reader to lose themselves in the story. Immerse themselves in the world I have detailed. In these days of political strife and conflict, it’s nice to forget the world and its troubles. If the reader connects with the characters, feels for them and their troubles then I’ve done my job. It’s important to me that the characters are memorable, believable and relatable.

Repel The Resistance — Derek Barton – 2020

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Definition of Resistance

The “Resistance” is constant but not futile (a tiny joke and a nod to my fellow Star Trek fans out there).  Resistance is the inner voice that every creator, writer, inventor or artist out there hears deep inside. That annoying, grating, self-indulgent nay-sayer who keeps you from pursuing your dreams, goals or from even putting one foot forward to start on your journies. The voice trapping you behind false masks!

Resistance is born from our insecurities, busy outside lives and the lack of faith in our skills. The questions it seeds our minds with grow into trees of self-fulfilling prophecies. In other words, its true purpose is to give you excuse after excuse why you cannot or will not write today. We all have hundreds of unique excuses and seemingly valid reasons for not putting pen to paper.  Everyone has lives and everyone has their own agendas. Yet if you give in to Resistance, you set up a habit of self-destruction and a pattern of sabotage.

Symptoms of Resistance

  • Procrastination — This is a big one for me. I give myself an out by saying, “I just don’t have the energy” or “I’m too tired tonight. One more day and I’ll get to it.”  Lies I tell myself. Resistance provides a nice pillow for me or it provides a comfy couch for me to binge-watch my shows on instead of battling to find the right words for my chapter.
  • Confusion — You are “stuck” or have a minor case of “writer’s block” because you may have written yourself into a tough scenario and don’t know how to write yourself an escape. Or your outline is vague in this spot or too general and now you find you have to fill in the nasty missing link.
  • Loss of creativity — “How can you be expected to write your masterpiece tonight?”  Or another accusation from Resistance, “I’m not feeling it. The scene isn’t going anywhere.” We stare at the screen or the blank paper for a few seconds then let Resistance “save us” and we jump ship.
  • No motivation/muse — Similar to loss of creativity is lack of motivation or the infamous “muse”. You actually know what you want to write, have the story events in your mind but at the same time doubt nags you or a lack of confidence keeps you from even trying.

Causes of Resistance

  • Low energy — One of the common and easiest ways to let Resistance get over your walls and breach your defenses against it. You have to discover the right time for you and when you are at your peak energy output is key to writing quality work. When are you focused?
  • Illness — Poor health or unexpected events are going to happen. Yet if you plan with “life” in mind, you will give yourself some back up or make-up time. Myself, I have been using Bi-monthly Goals and Writing Sprints to understand better on what to plan for and if they are possible in my given time table. I have also been working on my health and trying to approach those goals like my writing goals. In essence, good health and energy IS a writing goal.
  • Poor planning — By knowing your projects, your actual production limits, and keeping in sight holidays and/or special events in your life, you can keep Reistance at bay often. Also using efficient and beneficial planning for your writing will make it easier to progress. I struggle a lot if I don’t work out my outlines well enough or if I have left a spot too general or vague. I stall without direction. I know this about my writing so I need to adjust accordingly in order  to fend off Resistance.
  • Internet distractions — The internet is a double-edged sword for all writers. We use it constantly in our wordcraft, research and even inspiration. However, it is super addictive, highly distracting and often a vicious time-killer. There are actual websites online that prevent you from accessing other websites or email during a programmed time. It protects you from YOU!
  • Lack of character knowledge — The next two are related to poor design or poor development of story elements. If you have a limited idea of what your character is going to do in a scene, no idea of how they might react under pressure or if you have someone with barely any personality, this will leave you with limited material and limited ways to progress your story. Resistance feeds on lost productivity like this.
  • Off course of plot/storyline — Writer’s Block at its finest can be broken down to another version of “don’t know what to write”. The blank page spans for eons in front of you like a white desert, barren and desolate of life. Yes, of course, when a character goes offscript and drags you and the story into a whole other direction, it could be magical and inspiring, but if you find your story has ground to a halt and Resistance is boiling up, you need to re-examine your original story or outline to find your way back. Resistance could be using your detour and “magical moment” as a way to derail your progress!

Answers to Resistance

  • Maintain a better life & work balance — Nothing is easy and finding the perfect blend of writing and having a family life is a difficult but necessary tool to stop Resistance and your writing production. A great way to see where your actual time goes each day is to track your activities and how much each action takes. You can also learn when you are the most productive by listing the times you write, for how long, and what your word count was for the session.
  • Create a Time Table for your week/writing commitments — A great way to beat Resistance is to make writing routine and habitual. Craft a chart for listing 3 Goal Items:  Writing Commitments, Process/Project Tasks, Personal Ojectives.  What will be your Writing Commitment this week (example: a 25-minute session for 5 days of the week as a success)? What is a Process or Project Task you are going to spend time on (like marketing, editing, etc)? And other Personal Objective you want to accomplish during the week?
  • Set up a writing routine/writing space — Finding routine is essential for habit-making. What works for you as a writer?  Does going to local public places like libraries or coffee shops help you get into your writing zone? Do you need a designated place in your house, a specific hour or quiet atmosphere? Would mood music help you produce more or shut out the noise from Resistance? All of these questions are key to learning the writer you are and what will boost your spirit into writing.
  • Freewriting sprints — Sprints are timed freewriting sessions in which you silence your inner editor (Resistance’s bastard cousin) and produce as many words as possible. Leting go of any obstacles or any normal objections you have. Many writers also use these sprints to get past the initial “blah” to writing. Once you have made it past five or ten minutes, you’ll most likely push through to your daily objective.
  • Delve into your backstories — I touched on this above, but not having any true direction or finding your character is too flat to come to life on paper begs Resistance to block you. My advice is to work on their prior lives. What happened to them before your story? Was there an event which guided their behaviors or personalities? Do they hide from stressors, have character flaws, have unknown strengths or are there secrets in their past you could work out which can add depth and color to your character portrait?
  • Research your subject or develope more of your world — This tip is a balancing act. Resistance can hide here and disguise your efforts at world-building or learning historical or scientific facts as a lengthy distraction and keep you away from your true goals of writing. If you are stuck on a specific area or if you need motivation, use this with precision to get through the part. Limit the time donated on this aspect and you should find it a great way to fight back against Resistance.
  • Reward yourself — If you find Resistance is still putting a wedge between you and your work, add a reward for accomplishing your writing goal. It doesn’t have to be big (special food, coffee, or maybe video game time) will be enough spark to push through. If you want bigger, use the reward to honor completed sets of sessions. An example could be taking the family out for a dinner at the end of the week of completed writing sessions. This gives you and the family quality time together and rewarding those who are in your life supporting your writing.
  • Set your Goals and writing plans realistically — Becoming overwhelmed or finding yourself missing out too much on family events or nights out with friends will invite Resistance into your life guaranteed. It’s a part of that Work/Life balancing act I talked about. If you have too many projects hanging over your head, you’ll lose the thrill to writing. When everything about writing becomes a chore, you will know you have to revisit your goals and what you can accomplish.  I recently did some timed sprints myself and learned that I can at the moment produce 400 words of quality writing in 25 minutes. I’m tracking this and hope to continually build this word count up. If I set goals now for myself to write 2000 words a day, I know it will take me almost three hours. I have a full-time day job and a family of five to support and I want to spend time with as well. Three hours a day would be unrealistic and unfair to those who support me — I would quickly become overworked, stressed out and extremely grumpy. I don’t want to live this way nor do I want to put my family through it. I would love to only have writing but it isn’t financially feasible as well. Plotting out the year with this knowledge however and understanding how illness and holidays will interfere, I can better set up realistic goals.

Remember, being an accomplished, seasoned writer or a brand new novelist doesn’t change the fact Resistance will always be there. Resistance has infinite lives and many devious forms. These tips will help and you will probably find even more ways to keep motivated and strong, but give yourself a break. You will not always be able to ward off the demons of Resistance all of your writing career, but once they rear their ugly heads, cut them off cleanly and quickly! Use drive, planning and organization to keep yourself ahead of the game!

 

Good luck and great writing!

Immerse or Die! — Derek Barton – 2017

 Capture C
Yes, I am stealing this title directly from a great writing website, Creativity Hacker  created by the author Jefferson Smith.
Or… rather I am paying homage to it.
Why?  Because one, that title is sure to catch your attention and it has a literal punch to it.  And I want your attention with this blog.  Two, this is one of the most important things you have to know as a writer in my opinion.  If you are not pulling that reader in and capturing their complete attention, then you are not fulfilling your obligation to take them away from their lives and take them by the hand into your world, your story.
A break in immersion occurs at the point when a reader has to stop and analyze any sentence for any reason. If they are thinking about your words, they are not thinking about your characters.
The concept behind Jefferson Smith’s Immerse or Die is that he takes new submitted books and reviews them while doing a 40 minute walk on his treadmill.  If his “immersion” is broken three times, he puts the book aside.  Later he writes up his reviews and then posts the results. He highlights the stories that live through the test period so they get full glory and recognition.
I spent a lot of time there and learned a lot from his ideas and rules to keep readers immersed in the story.
Look at the following chart that shows you the outcome of his reviews in 2015:
Capture B
Here is the Blog Link to his blog review.
Here are some of the most common errors to keep in mind especially when you are editing!
 
Clarity!  Be careful when you are writing your prose. Keeping it simple and at the same time “poetic” is a very fine line that you have to tightrope walk.
The Hemingway App Editor is a great, free resource that will help your writing. It will identify and highlight sentences that are not in an easy to read format or structure.  It will also detail what grade level the work is.  The lower the grade the more relatable it will be to the readers.
Another way to keep the reader immersed is avoiding Echo Words, Echo Headers and Repeat Passages.  This one was a huge problem for me and I was not even aware of it until I applied the rule during my own editing phase.  I had repeat words and overused phrases everywhere!
An example of an Echo Word or Echo Header is when the writer uses the same word for several sentences in a row or within the same paragraph in the prose.
Example:   The robot failed to stop the invaders.  Henry saw the aliens slip past the machine. The robot raced behind the attackers as they bolted up the stairs.  At the top, the aliens pounded upon the metal doors. The robot then sounded the alarm to alert the compound.
Yes, this is an obvious example, but it does happen often. Other examples include when you use the character’s name over and over on the same page.  I try hard to limit it to three or four times.  Also over using the pronouns instead of the name can be very distracting or repetitive to the reader.  Repetition equates to lack of unique description or lack of originality in the work. Come up with synonyms like the man, the boy, the warrior or the teacher, etc.
Another problem I still wrestle with revolves around names.  If you have too many names that sound similar or use the same starting letter (i.e. too many M or T names), readers may get confused on who is doing what.  If you have too many complex names (which is my dilemma), then the readers are always pulled out of immersion as they are trying to pronounce the name.  I felt at the time since I was establishing a fantasy world then they wouldn’t have the usual Bob or Mary names.  Yet, my “style” overrode my “message” and I got a lot of feedback on reviews about the complexity of the names. It was obvious that it stuck with my readers and thus, they weren’t always immersed in the tale.
Plot or Story Continuity is also critical in immersion.  If the characters are doing something in one scene based on knowledge of an event that has not happened, that will cause any reader to stop, shake their head and try to piece the puzzle together.
Or if the characters act out of character or do something for no reason, this also frustrates the reader.  Be sure on a final read-through to take the time to write out your plot events on a timeline as they happened.  You should do this even if you are a writer called a “pantser” (write-by-the-seat-of-your-pants style writer) and do not use outlines.  You have to be sure that during your editing you didn’t move a crucial point or event out of its correct time.  The timeline will keep you on track. And it is easier to spot any potential plot holes or inconsistencies.
Keeping immersion also means that the reader can feel, breathe, smell, hear or even taste the elements of the scene.  They are living through the story and not being told a tale. One way to dull your prose or separate your reader from the character is using Filter Words.   Filter Words are just that – words that appear when the reader’s experience has been filtered through a character’s point of view.
Filter examples (and any tense of the words):  To Hear, To Know, To Decide, To See, To Notice, To Feel, To Think, To Assume, To Believe and To Note.  There are a lot more out there, but this gives you an idea of what to look for.
Here are two paragraphs as an example:
Danny thought about tomorrow’s car race and he wondered how he would perform against all the other, more experienced drivers. He heard a car horn blare at him from the traffic waiting behind him.  It was then that he decided that he had to put aside his worries and do the best he could.
Without filters…
A vision of roaring race cars flashed across Danny’s mind.  The day of the race had almost arrived.  How would he do against the other more experienced drivers?  A car horn blared behind him from an impatient driver and interrupted his thoughts.  He shook his head to clear away the doubts.  “I have got this!” he said aloud to himself.
Not all uses of the words above are considered filtering. But, it is a tough trap to avoid and like I said before, one must walk a fine line. Restrict your Filter Words to when they are critical to the meaning of the sentence.
The last Immersion Alert I want to hit upon is Exposition — The “writer’s diarrhea of the mouth”.  Do not fill your pages with tons of historical facts (real or imaginary) or with complex, scientific exposition.  If you do not bore the reader, you will certainly confuse them.  Yes, you can relay some, but everything has to be in moderation.
Also in step with this, don’t fill your pages with huge paragraphs or have exhaustive chapters.  The reason for breaks in writing is just that:  a mental and physical break for the reader.
The current readers today are conditioned to fast action or events happening at the same time or in rapid order Producers have designed video games, television shows and movies to cater to short attention spans.
Fine-tuning your writing so that the reader lives through the character is a tall task, yet it is a very rewarding endeavor.  Don’t water down your message or limit your story’s potential by ignoring the rules to immersion.  After all, the very reason we spend hours pouring over our writing is to bring the reader inside, right?
In terms of jumping into a character’s skin, I try to immerse myself in the role as much as possible to bring me closer to them. All I do is what’s required to achieve what I want to achieve. – Dougray Scott

2017 Bi-Monthly Goals for July & August — Derek Barton – 2017

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July & August Bi-Monthly Goals

Recently, I came across an interesting video blog on Youtube from fantasy novelist, Kristen Martin. She outlined her “bi-monthly” goals for the months of January & February. I liked the process a lot and I could see how it would be a great motivator for me.

The main aim is to break down your “bigger picture” goals into easier, more obtainable goals. These can be both professional as well as personal. The other part of the process is to publicize them as this gives you a sense of accountability. If I can accomplish at least 12 of the 15 goals then that is 80% which is a “winning” and successful score!

I will be revamping these again in September. I will give you a rundown of how I did and then a new or revised list.

Here are my goals for the next two months:

1. Finalize my Chapter Outlines for The Bleeding Crown: I am a big time “plotter” as they say in the industry. I write faster and have better quality of work if I know where I am going in each chapter.   You can think of it like a road map.  Some authors write by the seat of their pants (“pantsers”), but when I did this, I found I would always get lost. Then I would lose enthusiasm for the story and not finish. For this story, I know exactly where I am heading and how I want it to end. The difficulty is to determine all the little steps along the way on that road getting to the finale!

2. Complete the First Rough Draft of Bleeding Crown: I have been putting a lot of effort into writing the first draft and have three quarters of the story down. Unfortunately, I am quickly coming up to the end of what I had written for the outline. Thus, goal #1 and goal #2 go hand in hand. If I don’t do #1, I won’t get near #2. Sighhhhhh

3. Complete 52,000 words written (52 days * 1000 words):  This ties into the other goals, but even if I finish The Bleeding Crown, I have my Elude series.  I want to accomplish this so I have even more on my site and Amazon for my readers to dig into.  A 1,000 a day is actually not that hard for a lot of writers (Stephen King does over 3,000 every day), but that IS his only career… HA!  Once I can comfortably do this on a daily basis, I will be increasing it.

4. Outline first two books of Elude Series:  A lofty goal for me, but without the stretch goals I won’t know for sure what I can actually accomplish or not, right? I am enjoying this genre as much as I enjoy my fantasy work (both have my biggest love – horror).  I was inspired to write the Elude story after reading Stephen King’s novel Mr. Mercedes which is a great “grim detective” series (he also added a lot of horror elements to this genre story too!).  The novels are all going to be relatively short (under a 100 pages each) as I want them to be an on-going series and I want to build that anticipation element to it.  Plus right now “short is in” on Amazon and writers are finding success with this approach.

5. Write out three more Elude Sections: I am including the first five sections of the first book for Elude on my blog. Would love to hear your thoughts, suggestions or if any of you have questions about the story. Another appeal to this work is that it takes place in my city Phoenix! I moved here when I was 26 and fell instantly in love with it. Now I can take you, my readers, on a whirlwind tour through Vicente’s eyes!

6. Compile and create an Ebook on the Writing Craft from my past blogs: I have kind of already done a part of this. I put my self-publishing and writing blogs together, but have not edited or refined them in any way. The idea is to put them in a non-fiction ebook. It will be my take on the writing craft and what has worked well for me and what has not gone according to plan.

7. Design bookmarks for my books: I do have a couple of bookmarks already that I can sell when I get back into the comic-con game. But I want more and will be coming up with some new ideas from the books. I want to sell these also from my site.

8. Get the character portraits from artist by August and start getting Poker Card and Calendars made: This is another lofty goal as there are a lot of characters from Consequences. Plus, he’s also got a busy schedule and life! This is my goal, but it does require some successful production from him as well.

9. Complete two Giveaways (one on Kindle Review and my own Indie Book Giveaway): I have signed on for another book giveaway on the site Kindle Review. It’s called A Midsummer’s Dream. A cool production that I am happy to be a part of. The other giveaway, of course, is my own, The Indie Fantasy Book Giveaway, which I have been heavily marketing. It has been slow growing, but I am seeing some success with it. This will also help me out on building up my email mailing list. I do love the website traffic I am seeing from the giveaways. This month has already broken my all-time records for most visitors in a month!

10. Complete one Newsletter a month: July’s was already sent out last week and I should have another one out in the first week of August.

11. Read one writing craft book a month: Reading about my writing to me is incredibly essential. It has raised the level of my writing in a short time. It has helped me learn what the current trends are and given me the tools to produce a more polished product than when I started writing again back in 2010.

12. Prepare for book convention in Tucson: I would like to go this convention, but not sure how financially set we will be for me to do so. We have had some setbacks lately and it has stalled my participation in the comic-cons or book shows. Not only do you have to pay to take part and reserve a table, but you also have to pay for the inventory to sell. There is also expenses for travel and any hotel accommodations to consider if you are not doing it locally.

13. Get booth banners: Again this is an investment I would like to make, IF I can get back into the comic-con circuit by the end of the year. I may have to stall on this one and let it go on future month goals coming up.

14. Strive to walk 3 miles a night, workout set at least once a day: The heat in Phoenix this year has been devastating. Last year we did have one or two days over 120 degrees. This year it has been over 120 degrees off and on for a week and a half. The days it hasn’t reached 120+ has still been very oppressive. When I try to walk at night, I have gotten severe headaches. This heatwave won’t last forever, but it sure does feel like it. I moved to get summer year round (lived in the Icy Hell of Indiana for 26 years) – I don’t regret the move, just cannot wait for our normal weather to come back. This fitness goal is to help me with my bigger goal of losing weight. I want to lose 40 by the end of the year!

15. Create a book trailer video: Another high bar goal, but I have been toying with the idea. I have a lot on my plate and with my day job, it doesn’t give me a lot of “free time” to experiment and toy with the technology out there. It may happen, especially since I now see it is not that hard or even expensive to do. The time to research and find all the images is the obstacle.

This is a lot of minor goals, but if I can accomplish this in two short months, then my overall success for the entire year will be very fulfilling indeed. I realize that there is a good chance that most of these will not get completed, but it still helps having them written out so that I see my targets and the road ahead that I need to take.

The Wilds of Aberrisc… — Derek Barton – 2017

Aberrisc Map 2017

As promised in my blog A New Land to Behold…, here is my first draft of the Map to the Wilds of Aberrisc.
I am not completely happy with it so it may not find its way into the book like this, but perhaps another version will.   Yet, I do feel that a map was overdue.  And I have to admit they are fun to build!
“You were rumored to have been imprisoned by the Eulocths a while ago. Was this true?” Taihven was confused until an image of the Green Ones flashed in her mind.
“Oh, yes! Vicious, little lizard-like creatures.” He blurted out, but immediately he felt anxious and did not like the possible outcomes of this topic.
“Well, you see our race has had constant conflicts with the Eulocths. Ever since we got knotted in Yamtolak.”
“Knotted? What do you mean?” he asked.
“Yes, knotted. How do I explain…” she gathered her words. “Where you come from, do your lands not knot? When the lands collide, but connect versus pushing away from one another?”
The look of confusion on his face answered for him. “Our lands do not move. They are locked into position.”
“Ah!  You see, all the continents here float upon a massive ocean and they move along with the subterranean currents. Occasionally, the lands collide, but bounce off from each other. The knots are when the lands strike and lock into each other or part of the land tears free and remain with one land or another. Such is what happened with our Sacred Groves of Ara Turas. We have been knotted and trapped here on Yamtolak when it knotted with our homeland.”
In Consequences Within Chaos, the characters were in various locations, but a map was not as necessary to follow the story line. In the Bleeding Crown (the sequel to Consequences Within Chaos), I feel it will be very beneficial to see where the characters are and where the action is taking place in relation to one another.
Here is also a little write-up on each continent:

Wilds of Aberrisc

Ara Turas – Homeland of the Duradramyn; their lands exist of grassy plains and rolling tundra.  Duradramyn are a simplistic, tribal people that rely heavily on ritual or spiritual magic.  While renown for their agriculture, they are also dedicated to existing with nature, living among animals and preserving the environment.

Aviytoss – Homeland of the Flohki; sprawling wetlands and dwarf tree swamps. Flohki are half-bird humanoids that tend to be xenophobic and very territorial.  Their technology, militant personalities and scientific knowledge has fostered them several large cities and coastal fishing industries.

Bre’Avat — Vast jungles and volcanic mountain ranges.  The continent does not have a known race or humanoid culture, but is home to original species of Mammoth Bats, Khortha Lizards and Reaxes which are massive beetles that live within lava pits.  Abandoned ruins of an intelligent race have been found there, but no survivors or descendants are known.

Cordavail – Homeland of a small human kingdom.  They are very isolated in a ring of high mountains and rarely reach out to neighboring lands.

Dorminahz – Homeland to the Thettes and Brohmn Giant races.  These two clans are very war-like and have often battled in bloody and costly civil wars.  They live barbarian lifestyles, but the Thettes are nomadic and follow after migratory animal herds.  The Brohmn claim permanent residences and dig out immense structures in mountain sides and subterranean caverns.

Ele Tessis – Territory to the shadow race of Bal’Avals.  These mystical creatures tend to have sadistic desires and evil tendencies.  Little contact has been made with them; they protect their lands violently and will not suffer any trespassing.

Fhey Rhas – Homeland of the Yuul; their home is a ring of seven islands.  The Yuul are a feline/human race that dedicate their lives to the study of magic.  Political sciences and government organization are also key concerns to their culture.

Huuscia – Endless miles of desert wasteland; suspected to be unpopulated, but few explorers have ever returned from their expeditions.

Mescarne – A heat-blasted, barren plain; at its center is the legendary Quartz Tower.  The Tower is believed to be the key focal point for the magical energies and ley lines to the entire world of Aberrisc.  Few have found it and been able to return to describe the structure.  Some propose it is of ancient origin by a long-forgotten race.  No one has ever been able to describe the interior.

Peht Glacier Flats – Ice wasteland; unpopulated by humanoid creatures due to its weather and unstable lands and climate.

Rya – Desert dune lands cover most of this continent.  However, there are also long stretches of glass fields that mar this sand expanse.  Ancient tales and folklore describe the region as a homeland to a once noble and powerful race, but they unleashed a doomsday cataclysm which formed the glass fields and ever growing dunes.  No evidence of such a race has been discovered to date.

Utakraas – Homeland of the Balshazras; these lands are made up of sprawling swamp areas, deep lakes and enormous rivers.  Balshazras are reptilian, but have a high intellect that matches their natural gifts with arcane and elemental magic.  The unique creatures can continuously reincarnate and thus are seemingly immortal.

Yamtolak – Homeland of the Eulocths.  These vile lizard humanoids have very base, selfish desires and often make raids upon other lands for food, treasures or to take slaves.  They exist in linked clan villages that all answer to their tyrant king.  Their biggest strength and weapon is in their sheer numbers.  With a mob-mentality, the Eulocths do not fear anything or anyone.

I hope to create another world map of Wyvernshield soon for the next blog.  Please let me know what you thought and if you have any suggestions.

Taking Advantage of Obstacles… — Derek Barton – 2017

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It is not in the still calm of life, or the repose of a pacific station, that great characters are formed. The habits of a vigorous mind are formed in contending with difficulties. -Abigail Adams

 

Last week my home computer crashed and died an ugly death.

I didn’t hold a funeral or even a memorial.  I buried it away quickly in a cabinet like a guilty secret and tried to not to obsess over it.

Why?  Because this is a serious financial setback – I just don’t have the means to replace it easily.  I am even writing this blog at work on break (shhhhh don’t tell! LOL)

I have had the computer since 2009 and I knew the day was coming that I would have to replace it, but… I had a fantasy hope that it would last yet another year or more.  That little voice in my head kept saying, “Let me just get my sequel done and then maybe I could afford a new one!”

The rub of it all is that I was gaining serious momentum on my book.  I had written four and a half chapters so far with a goal that by October the first draft would be complete.   Now, everything has been locked away in my Scrivener program, imprisoned unjustly within the hard drive.   Yes, some of the outline has been saved to my Google Drive folders, but I was very lax in updating my work to the Cloud.  Lesson learned.

My father did point out that “there was this somewhat known writer guy called Shakespeare who didn’t own any computers and he managed to get quite a bit produced…”   SIGHHHHHHH  Thanks, Dad!

Anyway, I realized that there was just no way around this for now and I decided to focus on my audio script work.  I am adapting Consequences Within Chaos into an audio book to be sold on Audible.com.  While my heart is still longing to write The Bleeding Crown, I am having an interesting experience with developing the audio version for Consequences.

In the past, I always made the quick assumptions that the audio book process was complex, expensive and not really well accepted by the readers.  This has proven to be quite the opposite!

The steps are pretty simple:

  1. Write out your book as if it were a script.
  2. Find a voice actor or read and record your own voice.
  3. Post it and sell it through Audible and/or other audio book sites!

So writing the book into a script format is time-consuming but can be a rewarding experience in itself.  I am sure there are more formal processes for the work, but I just did highlights and notes throughout the manuscript for the voice actor.  You have to be sure exactly how you want names to be read, how you want voices to sound, how much pausing or dramatic emphasis on passages you want and you have to guide the voice actor on scene or dialog pacing.

The part where one has to find a voice actor and afford the actor’s services sounded pretty overwhelming at first.  However there again, the process is well-designed for amateurs like me.  You can actually find voice actors on your own as I happened to (I met a few at the Galaxyfest Comic-con I attended in February) or you can post/advertise you are looking for one online or you can hire through several sites (like Fiverr.com).

Once you have a voice actor, payment for that actor can be done two ways:  a one-time payment for said services agreed upon by both parties OR a split of the royalties received for the audio book (the contract will be for as long as the book is selling on the site).

Once the recordings are completed (and if you decide to record your own reading of the book, you can gain a lot of good tips from www.youtube.com videos on how to make the recordings and what settings you need), you will need to download them onto http://www.acx.com/ if you plan on selling through Audible.com.  This site is very similar to what https://www.createspace.com/ is for Amazon.

Also here are some more factors to keep in mind for the recordings (obtained from acx’s guides):

ACX Audio Submission Requirements

Create top-quality audiobooks, and maximize your sales potential by providing the best overall listening experience.

Audiobooks uploaded to ACX must adhere to the following requirements. The ACX Quality Assurance team may reject titles that do not meet these standards, and their retail release may be delayed. The following requirements help ensure customers get a great listen.

Your submitted audiobook must:

Each uploaded audio file must:

More information on how to meet these requirements can be found below and in our Video Lessons & Resources, and many of the terms used here can be found in our Audio Terminology Glossary.

There is a lot of extra details they have on the site to further break it down and easy to complete.

And lastly, here is a sample of the research I found on the internet about marketing audio books and how audio books are having an impact on the market:

Data from the Association of American Publishers (APP) released this week showed U.S. book sales from January to October last year grew 0.5 percent, although overall revenue for publishers during the period was down 2.8 percent at $13.2 billion.
However, one area that is experiencing strong growth is audio books. The APP said audio book downloads increased by 38.1 percent in 2015 and services such as Audible, where users pay a monthly subscription to access a library of audio books, are growing.
“Audible membership growth is consistent at 40 per cent year on year, as more consumers realise how well audiobooks can fit into their busy lives,” explained Tracey Markham, country manager for Audible, to CNBC via email. “Audible members globally listened to 1.6 billion hours of audio content in 2015 (up from 1.2 billion in 2014).”  — CNBC.com

While the week did start out like a blind, three-legged horse at the race track, I did find a way to make it productive in spite of the broken down computer.  And I hope that this also opens your eyes to the possibility of audio books of your own and how really easy this process can be.

With any luck (I used up all my bad luck already right?) this will become a successful new venture in audio for me!!

A New Land to Behold… — Derek Barton – 2017

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Recently I have been toying with the idea of making maps for my fantasy worlds detailed in Consequences Within Chaos, the prequel Seyde in Blood and my upcoming sequel The Bleeding Crown. 

There are a lot of debate on whether maps are a hindrance or a benefit to your story.  I think that like any other writing tool or technique that a writer can use, it should be considered carefully for each story, thought out thoroughly and done on a case by case basis.  Not every story will warrant a map.

The first important question to consider is:  will it add to the story for the reader?   Do you think that there may be too many names floating about in your prose or do you feel that the layout of your places are pretty straightforward for the reader to follow?  When I read George R.R. Martin’s A Song of Ice and Fire, I had to often look at the maps to keep the story straight in my head.  For that matter, he had so many characters going all over the place and working with so many different characters, I even made an Excel Spreadsheet to keep the names straight!  But Mr. Martin has such a great talent and incredible story that I forgave him as a reader and put in the extra effort.

Another question:  Do you feel that the map is going to help you as the writer?  Will it guide you in keeping all the facts straight and keeping an accurate idea of where each character might be?  Or will a map also give you inspiration or show you where you have room to grow?

When you do decide, you will also face the dilemma of where are you going to get it?  Are you going to draw it yourself and if so, do you have the right amount of cartography skill?  If you are not taking up the challenge to create it, then what resources do you have to get one?  There are a ton of “free map images” out on the net, but then you may have to make concessions or even possibly alterations to your story.  Perhaps you might be wise to invest on getting it professional completed.  There are also many websites that will provide map-making services or websites like Cartographers Guild that has a forum for questions and/or advice.

Overall, the questions surrounding the “to map or not to map” debate really comes down to time, resources and whether or not it will benefit you as a writer and/or the readers.

For myself, I have started my sequel and I think it will be a positive addition for the readers to see where the lands are and maybe help give the readers a better perspective of all the key lands that are involved in the story.  My plan is to make a map of both worlds detailed in the books.  And yes, I do plan on designing the maps myself.  I designed several in my old Dungeon & Dragon days and found that it really provoked ideas and plots (usually evil plots to mess with the players!! haha)

I will keep you all in the loop and hopefully share my maps soon!!

When One Must Battle… — Derek Barton – 2017

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When I started my first novel, Consequences Within Chaos, I fell into an almost obsessive “plot mode” and wrote a rather long, bulleted outline of my story (60 pages to be exact).   However, for the battle scenes, I skipped past with a lazy wave of the hand and just wrote a line “insert battle scene here.”  Not giving the battle scene its proper respect was not only a big mistake as far as outlining, but it also became a huge stumbling block for me when I attempted my first drafts.

Why? 

Well, when it came time to write these epic battles, I found I had no real idea where to start.  Instinctively, I knew that there was a lot riding on capturing this part to my story just right.  I had lied to myself and naively thought that this would “all magically be revealed and come naturally to me”.

Suddenly with all that sitting upon my shoulders, I put off writing the first one; even postponed and put aside the book for months.  I wouldn’t categorize this period as writer’s block, but maybe a weird version of stage fright?  If I didn’t write the scene (didn’t walk out upon the stage), then I wouldn’t screw it up (I wouldn’t show how bad I was at this) and embarrass myself (fall flat on my face in front of the audience).

It took me a lot of research, experimentation, rewrites and some sheer will to get the battles done for the book.  They’re not perfect, but I am happy with them overall.  Will I do better nowadays?  I sure hope so! 

To save you from my pain, here are the critical factors you need to answer when using a battle scene (this includes all types of fights – barroom brawls, ambushes, street assaults and all the way to the epic, five army battles!):

  1. Determine who is all involved (Characters/groups) – this includes not just your main characters or protagonist and any friends, but it includes the antagonist (most times) and/or his minions or allies.  Also keep in mind any surprise attendees you may want to include.  This will add to the tension of the scene!
  1. Provide goals and personal motivations for all parties (Individual beliefs) – you will need to ask yourself why you are doing this battle.  Ask yourself if the battle is really important to the overall story (in other words, don’t include it just to have an action sequence).  Also ask what reasons and goals does each character have for the battle.  Make them have an invested motive to being there.  What do they have to lose being there or what do they need to achieve?  Here is a great chance to really highlight a person’s inner thoughts.  Showcase their strengths, courage or lack thereof.  And be sure that their reasons are not the same for each battle and you are not just repeating what you have already accomplished.
  1. Decide where the battle will take place (Setting) – this important step can elevate your scene to that next level.  Backgrounds can be key elements that bring the scene to life.  If the battle takes place in a cliché or too common landscape then the scene might come across as redundant or even predictable.  For example, look at the epic fight scene between Annakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi in Star Wars III: The Revenge of the Sith.  The frantic battle between the two characters was incredibly more entertaining due to tension of having their duel upon pieces of debris in a lava flow.  The battle was a highlight for this film (as there were very few that I can think of).  If the battle was just on a large open field, the scene would not have stuck in your mind.  However, use caution as there is a fine line between entertainment and disbelief!
  1. Orchestrate the exact movements and attacks (Pace) – here you must be careful with the “dance steps” of the battle.  Who moves where and who reacts to what.  It is very important to write the actions carefully so as to not be choppy (which happened with my first attempts) and has to be clear so that the reader isn’t confused.  Remember they cannot actually see it and are relying on your words to paint the proper picture.  Also in order for the prose to be read smoothly and the pace of the combat to be in line with the action, use short terms, small paragraphs and simpler words.  The whole hope is to have the readers become immersed, have their breaths taken away and have them on the edge of their seats trying to figure out what’s going to happen next.  If they are reading through intricate details, lengthy descriptions or wordy dialogue, they are not going to experience the same impact that they would with tighter pacing.
  1. Include at least one unexpected event or tactic (Conflict) – as a rule for myself, I try to bring a creative element to the battle that the readers as well as the characters were not expecting.  It heightens the tension of the whole scene.  In the movie Braveheart, they added often many twists to their battles that caught the viewers and the combatants by surprise.  During one battle that comes to mind, when the English were charging on horseback with swords held high and ready to trample the foot soldiers of Wallace’s armies, the Scots suddenly brought up spears that were hidden within the tall grass!  While the unfortunate horses paid the price mostly for this trick, this simple twist changed the whole expected outcome.
  1. Plan for and carry out the results (Outcome) – when you start designing the battle, be sure you know what you are getting for each side and be sure you what you really want for your plot and story.  Many writers have written themselves into a deep corner because they didn’t think ahead to the outcomes.  They focused so much on the battle that they didn’t plan for the results.  Your battles should serve you!  Whether the results pin your main character down even harder (which is great – the farther the point where the character has to come back from, the more tension and conflict it brings to the story) or whether they actually win at last what they have been struggling to obtain the entire story, battles are stepping stones for your characters. Battle outcomes are pivotal and vital to the future of the story and it can be disastrous to lose focus on that.

Every scene is a platform for your character to level up and grow in the direction you need them to in your story.  Their triumphs or losses are the very ingredients that make up who they are.  Just like us in every day life – if we don’t experience ups and downs then we do not grow from them or learn from the journey.

Writing a battle scene can place your character under intense scrutiny, pressure to succeed and motivate him or her to excel – without this extreme moment of their life they would not have achieved anything your story wants and needs them to accomplish.

For us as writers, battles are waged and won with swords and words!

New Character Sketch #2… — Derek Barton – 2017

Here is another sneak peek at an upcoming character for The Bleeding Crown, sequel to Consequences Within Chaos.

 

Scars

 

Character Profile Questions:

What is their name? Only known as Scars. He lost his birth name in battle and will never use the real one again.

How old? 48 years old (He is one of the species called Flohki which live on average to 110 years old.   Their upper torso features are mainly bird, the rest humanoid.)

What does your character look like? White feathered head, broken beak, scars running down left cheek and multiple scars along the top and back of his head. He has the muscular body of a weightlifter and the head features of a seagull and icy blue eyes.

Where does he live? During an ambush along the Flohki borders, he was captured and enslaved by a roving Thette Giant Clan. He is the personal slave of Korba-Tarn and bodyguard of the giant’s mate, Frest-Alae.

Where is the character from? Scars grew up in a fishing community called Maxnen Vale. The Flohki continent called Cammiana consists endless grasslands surrounding lush swamps. The Flohki are divided in a civil war with the Pesha-aar due to territory and nesting land disputes. This disorganization has made them very vulnerable to the Quietus Army and the Ebon Throne.

What kind of childhood? Through his first decade of life he was happy and worked hard alongside his older brothers on the docks and the fishing boats. When times got tough and his family had misfortunes (a typhoon destroyed their small fleet of boats and home), the parents were forced to turn there children over to the Elder Leaders of the Ledatd Nest. Conscripted as “Bre-ox-da” which means “battleborn”, he and his brothers learned and trained in military combat. The Bre-ox-da are navy warriors that protect the coast lines. They were expected to serve for life as an “honor”.  The Flohki don’t believe in allowing anyone to be homeless, however they do require some form of restitution. The parents would not be able to feed the boys and themselves so the Leaders took the boys and the parents were given shelter and food for their remaining lives.

What does the character do for a living? Scars was rising in  the ranks as a military bodyguard and escort for officers of the Ledat Nest. He was also reknown for his horse combat skills and martial arts. Between assignments he trained many of the new Bre-ox-da in hand-to-hand fighting and military strategy.

How does your character deal with conflict? He has a knack for observation, studying enemy patterns and movements and uses patience to gather information for when he does strike or make a decision. Methodical and full of purpose. Being reduced to a slave and being dishonored, he is broken and submissive to the Thettes.

Who else is in their life? He has no contact with his race or family. A pair of Duradramyn survive enslaved in the slave pens with him.

What is your character’s goal or motivation? He knows that he should escape, but he also feels so lost and without direction, he has not yet discovered any reason to leave.

Their Status: Surrendering in battle means you lose your title and name forever. On a mission to escort his assigned officer, they were ambushed by the Thettes. As the unit leader, Scars surrendered as a sacrifice to allow his unit and brothers time to escape capture or death. Scars cannot ever regain his status and knows he will be ostracized by his race.  Part of him feels that being a slave  is almost proper punishment for not dying in battle.